Madhur Bhandarkar brought the aspect of Page 3 in his brilliant film of the same name. Not that it helped. Page Three folks are like traffic lights. You may not like them, but they will be around. These people are the scums of the earth, eking out their existence on crumbs of publicity generated by some third rate P3s of some newspapers.
The Page Three animals are easy to spot. They hang around to be invariably invited for every small party that is ‘thrown’ for no obscure reason by the so-called filthy rich. Word goes around pretty fast about how Mrs so-and-so is planning a do. The ability to wangle an invite depends on your standing in the society. If you are the IAS, IPS or a minister’s son, then the pub guys will invite you (for sure) for their celebration. But if it’s a private do, then the organizers make sure that the two leading lights (read that as the lady editors) of the two biggies (DC and Times) are invited.
Don’t bother about inviting The Hindu and Indian Express staffers. For them P3 is Jurassic, it does not exist. Fair enough, we appreciate their honesty. But DC and Times are a must. The editor of the DC tabloid is an ex Times, while the Times P3 editor is an ex DC staffer. Coincidence? Not really.
So, it makes sense to invite both. Even if one of them makes it to the ‘do’, the two editors will share notes what happened there. Just like photographers of newspapers ‘share’ pictures. So don’t be surprised if the same story may appear in both DC and Times. DC first, Times later. The Times Page 3 editor is always accommodating, holding on to her stories till Onnu, Onnu, Onnu pips them to the post and publishes it first. (Those who go to Malakpet can make sense of that)
For a Page 3 party, the invite is the starting point. It can be a personalized one or an exotic one. Send in a few ‘foreign’ chocolates along with the invite to the editor. A bottle of wine will also be a big draw and the editor will be under obligation to at least make a mention of your ‘great’ party.
Don’t send the ‘invite’ to the office. It’s foolish. The editor’s colleagues will notice how loads of gifts are being carted into madam’s cabin and then into her car. So, don’t embarrass the P3 editors. Send it to the editor’s home, even if your driver runs the risk of being bitten by the editor’s dog. You see, the philosophy is simple - Love me, love my dog.
Who will get a mention in P3 depends on how ‘close’ they are to the two lady editors. If you had sent cake on the editor’s birthday, then your picture and name will find its way into the P3. (Five star hotel GMs are very good at that). If the GM made sure that the editor’s kids got free swimming lessons at the five star hotel's pool, then the hotel will get a creeping mention somewhere. Also make sure that you send gifts to the editors during Diwali and New Year. A holiday trip for the editor and her family to an exotic locale will be a clincher. (free, of course).
There will be a lot of bitching at the party, but then that is only to be expected. The party will get rowdier once the liquor starts to flow. Make sure you have bottles of ‘desi foreign’ liquor stocked up. Black Label is passé, Try Chivas Regal, re-filled in with McDowells no1. None of these so-called P3 crowd knows the difference between Teachers and Royal Stag. Daru, thoh daru hai.
Make sure that the editor is constantly reminded at the party about the write up in next day’s paper. Say things like “Should I send you the pictures?”. Otherwise, how the hell will the world know that you invited a certain B_nt_ B_j_j or a P_ _ky R_d_y to your party. Most of the invitees to P3 ‘do’ are freeloaders, ever willing to throttle the host and the other guests. Behind the plastic smiles and peck on the cheeks are men and women who having a roving eye to spot the camera guy and make sure that he had them in the frame.
Make sure you treat the editor like the queen of the party, or else you risk running your reputation to the ground. Please smile, say words like “You look gorgeous” (even if madam looks groggy). You have lost a lot of weight” (even when the editor looks like Karnam Malleswari). Also add in a few goodies like “That article you wrote on live-in relationships was fabulous” (It’s another matter that the article appeared in a rival newspaper.)
Sexy, oomph, beauty, a great host are some of the words that make rounds in the P3 edits. An old lady who hangs along with one of the ex-wives of the ex-Nizam’s is described by the editor of a P3, as one of the most endearing hosts in Hyderabad. How? Nobody can hazard a guess. Does it have to do with a flat in Banjara Hills, which the editor had purchased at a substantial ‘discount’?
Our sources say that a couple of boutique owners have also complained to the top management of (we leave you to guess which one it was) that their P3 editor accompanied by another lady correspondent walked off with designer dresses without paying for them. The owners were told that the dresses would be reviewed and written about. Six months since, neither the review appeared nor were the dresses returned. Khallas!
But then there are ways to get around the editor and get yourselves seen on P3. Times has a division called Medianet, where one can (legally) pay and get written about in Hyderabad Times. So if P3 socialites want their party to be written and seen by all - they just need to pay as per the medianet rate card to the Times (and not the editor). Talk about cutting out the middlemen (and women)! The Jains are smart and know their business well. Why bribe the editor? Pay us and we will write about it, the Jains would say. Smart move - Paisa pheko,Tamasha dekho.
DC has another strategy. Those who want coverage in the P3 tabloid will have to buy a substantial number of copies of DC (say around 5000 copies and upwards). The DC circulation guys will account for that number of copies as increase in circulation or better sell the entire lot in raddi. Indeed, there are a number of ways to get written in P3 and these are just a couple of them.
The Page Three animals are easy to spot. They hang around to be invariably invited for every small party that is ‘thrown’ for no obscure reason by the so-called filthy rich. Word goes around pretty fast about how Mrs so-and-so is planning a do. The ability to wangle an invite depends on your standing in the society. If you are the IAS, IPS or a minister’s son, then the pub guys will invite you (for sure) for their celebration. But if it’s a private do, then the organizers make sure that the two leading lights (read that as the lady editors) of the two biggies (DC and Times) are invited.
Don’t bother about inviting The Hindu and Indian Express staffers. For them P3 is Jurassic, it does not exist. Fair enough, we appreciate their honesty. But DC and Times are a must. The editor of the DC tabloid is an ex Times, while the Times P3 editor is an ex DC staffer. Coincidence? Not really.
So, it makes sense to invite both. Even if one of them makes it to the ‘do’, the two editors will share notes what happened there. Just like photographers of newspapers ‘share’ pictures. So don’t be surprised if the same story may appear in both DC and Times. DC first, Times later. The Times Page 3 editor is always accommodating, holding on to her stories till Onnu, Onnu, Onnu pips them to the post and publishes it first. (Those who go to Malakpet can make sense of that)
For a Page 3 party, the invite is the starting point. It can be a personalized one or an exotic one. Send in a few ‘foreign’ chocolates along with the invite to the editor. A bottle of wine will also be a big draw and the editor will be under obligation to at least make a mention of your ‘great’ party.
Don’t send the ‘invite’ to the office. It’s foolish. The editor’s colleagues will notice how loads of gifts are being carted into madam’s cabin and then into her car. So, don’t embarrass the P3 editors. Send it to the editor’s home, even if your driver runs the risk of being bitten by the editor’s dog. You see, the philosophy is simple - Love me, love my dog.
Who will get a mention in P3 depends on how ‘close’ they are to the two lady editors. If you had sent cake on the editor’s birthday, then your picture and name will find its way into the P3. (Five star hotel GMs are very good at that). If the GM made sure that the editor’s kids got free swimming lessons at the five star hotel's pool, then the hotel will get a creeping mention somewhere. Also make sure that you send gifts to the editors during Diwali and New Year. A holiday trip for the editor and her family to an exotic locale will be a clincher. (free, of course).
There will be a lot of bitching at the party, but then that is only to be expected. The party will get rowdier once the liquor starts to flow. Make sure you have bottles of ‘desi foreign’ liquor stocked up. Black Label is passé, Try Chivas Regal, re-filled in with McDowells no1. None of these so-called P3 crowd knows the difference between Teachers and Royal Stag. Daru, thoh daru hai.
Make sure that the editor is constantly reminded at the party about the write up in next day’s paper. Say things like “Should I send you the pictures?”. Otherwise, how the hell will the world know that you invited a certain B_nt_ B_j_j or a P_ _ky R_d_y to your party. Most of the invitees to P3 ‘do’ are freeloaders, ever willing to throttle the host and the other guests. Behind the plastic smiles and peck on the cheeks are men and women who having a roving eye to spot the camera guy and make sure that he had them in the frame.
Make sure you treat the editor like the queen of the party, or else you risk running your reputation to the ground. Please smile, say words like “You look gorgeous” (even if madam looks groggy). You have lost a lot of weight” (even when the editor looks like Karnam Malleswari). Also add in a few goodies like “That article you wrote on live-in relationships was fabulous” (It’s another matter that the article appeared in a rival newspaper.)
Sexy, oomph, beauty, a great host are some of the words that make rounds in the P3 edits. An old lady who hangs along with one of the ex-wives of the ex-Nizam’s is described by the editor of a P3, as one of the most endearing hosts in Hyderabad. How? Nobody can hazard a guess. Does it have to do with a flat in Banjara Hills, which the editor had purchased at a substantial ‘discount’?
Our sources say that a couple of boutique owners have also complained to the top management of (we leave you to guess which one it was) that their P3 editor accompanied by another lady correspondent walked off with designer dresses without paying for them. The owners were told that the dresses would be reviewed and written about. Six months since, neither the review appeared nor were the dresses returned. Khallas!
But then there are ways to get around the editor and get yourselves seen on P3. Times has a division called Medianet, where one can (legally) pay and get written about in Hyderabad Times. So if P3 socialites want their party to be written and seen by all - they just need to pay as per the medianet rate card to the Times (and not the editor). Talk about cutting out the middlemen (and women)! The Jains are smart and know their business well. Why bribe the editor? Pay us and we will write about it, the Jains would say. Smart move - Paisa pheko,Tamasha dekho.
DC has another strategy. Those who want coverage in the P3 tabloid will have to buy a substantial number of copies of DC (say around 5000 copies and upwards). The DC circulation guys will account for that number of copies as increase in circulation or better sell the entire lot in raddi. Indeed, there are a number of ways to get written in P3 and these are just a couple of them.
After the party, make sure you have a wonderful parting gift, or have the editor dropped home in your Mercedes. (No, she will not write about the free ride home).
Page Three is all about “You scratch my bare back, and I will reciprocate.” And just like the ‘reel’ P3, the ‘real’ P3 is all khokla. That’s the sad story of P3 journalism, if you can call that journalism!
Page Three is all about “You scratch my bare back, and I will reciprocate.” And just like the ‘reel’ P3, the ‘real’ P3 is all khokla. That’s the sad story of P3 journalism, if you can call that journalism!
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Foot note : We asked for comments preceding the posting of a story on P3 and here are snippets of what we got :
P3 is all about a sumptuous meal at a star hotel and a hot party in a happening watering hole. Remember Madhur's movie dialogue? "We create celebrities and destruct them" or something similar…
About ten miserable scribes, two hapless lensmen… The sinister lady's strange whims and fancies! A despot! That's what HT is all about… A third rate of a fashion show at a five star hotel is a unique event for them… because the organizer is very generous! A national celeb's visit is nothing worth talking about. A city girl who made it to the AXN English series is an unknown figure and not worth coverage whereas a Heena Srivastava or a Rohit Reddy is something very hot and happening! God bless P3 journalists.
P3 is all about a sumptuous meal at a star hotel and a hot party in a happening watering hole. Remember Madhur's movie dialogue? "We create celebrities and destruct them" or something similar…
About ten miserable scribes, two hapless lensmen… The sinister lady's strange whims and fancies! A despot! That's what HT is all about… A third rate of a fashion show at a five star hotel is a unique event for them… because the organizer is very generous! A national celeb's visit is nothing worth talking about. A city girl who made it to the AXN English series is an unknown figure and not worth coverage whereas a Heena Srivastava or a Rohit Reddy is something very hot and happening! God bless P3 journalists.
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Happy weekend! Badger your P3 team and get yourselves some invites. Else, mull and mail ideas for next story on the blog. Cheers!
5 comments:
Wah...
Yemi raasaavuraa abbai. Addiripoyindi. Crispgaa chakkagaa vundi..keep it up
Sitaram
Bangalore
That DC and Times make money out of the itch among the rich is a known fact.. you missed out one important point.. only a few young males make it to the pages repeatedly... If you check you will have more spicy stuff... in a way it's sad too!.. so, let them live them peacefully in their world!
Shatrungan Sinha has called P3 parties as Paid3 Parties..how true !
Vikram
you are on the right track. But why waste time&space on the notorious ladies? geniune and honest journalists are languishing without jobs and living in abject poverty. Pl write about them. Also write about media mafia who always hang on to the powers that be no matter whether TDP in power or the Congress
It's a sad comment on the quality of journalism. I am ashamed to call myself a journalist, when some members of my fraternity like the P3 hacks are corrupt to the core.
These men and women have sold their heart and souls for the sake of money.
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