Useful tip for DC guyz

Let's say you are a DC reporter and it's 10.15 pm and you are heading home (alone of course), after, as usual, a hard day’s work…. dog tired, upset and frustrated! Suddenly you get a call from DC bosses asking to file list of special stories that you would be working for the next one month. (Yes, it does happen to us! And in what style!!)

Good story ideas are a must, investigative reports are the latest obsession, they tell you. Ensure two special stories per week and two good reports every day. Press conferences are a strict NO NO. Do not crib that you are working alone (For those unlucky ones in the backwaters (districts)).

And no compromise on the rules when you work on a story. Story should be NON-political, NON-administrative (no bureucrats), NON-plug, NON-profile, NON-controversial, NON-featuristic, NON-celebrity, NON-Loksatta, NON-Chiranjeevi & family, NON-Nagarjuna & family, NON-Dasari and other politicians, (Reddy politicians are okay).. and wait the story should be NON-downmarket which means nothing on Tribals, Rickshawallahas, Monkeys and all those LESS MISERBALES who can't read English, DO NOT ever bring them on to the pages, you are warned! Hey, there is a silver-lining, for those who can’t correctly spell journalism without spell check, the story CAN be non-journalistic!. Sigh, is that a relief?

Now Read on.... You suddenly start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE AND THAT TOO WHEN IT’S A RESULT OF PRESSURE MOUNTED ON YOU BY THE QUIRKY EDITOR OF DC: Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!